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Kick Rocks

by Sam Douglass

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1.
Oh it's almost summer time I just cannot wait For the campers to return Man it's gonna be great I'm sharpening my blade and I'm whittling my spear Cause I'm gonna have a bloody good time this year Oh I love to kill and I'm good at it No I cannot die so get used to it On Friday the 13th I'll come and find you Just like my momma taught me to I like to start off slow With a teen who's all alone With a cop or a hobo Or a group one by one, oh You say you're telekinetic then I say come and get it Cause even if you beat me some fool will come and set me free And I love to kill and I'm good at it And I cannot die so get used to it On Friday the 13th I'll come and find you Just like my momma taught me to I've got big dreams Of big city screams Slashing with grace In the future and outer space! And if you're fornicating then I'll be right there waiting Cause I'm not just a monster from hell, I'm also a righteous incel And I love to kill and I'm good at it And I cannot die so get used to it On Friday the 13th I'll come and find you Just like my momma taught me to
2.
June Moon 03:25
I gave up my reason I gave up my rhyme No more ways to say Somethin’ ‘bout nothin’ The days grow long But the nights get shorter And I’m still not satisfied Under the June moon I do what I'm told Don't break the rules or I might get a "scolding" I should just walk away But I'm not smart enough And I'm too proud to Go down without a fight I’m still in mourning Still feeling lost Look for a way to make Somethin’ from nothin’ A year disappears Now the weeks drag on And I’m still not satisfied Under the June moon I do what I'm told Don't break the rules or I might get a "scolding" I should just walk away But I'm not smart enough And I'm too proud to Go down without a fight I’m falling apart I’m breaking down Feel like I’m turning from Somethin’ to nothin’ And I’m still not satisfied Under the June moon I do what I'm told Don't break the rules or I might get a "scolding" I should just walk away But I'm not smart enough And I'm too proud to Go down without a fight
3.
Do you read the New York Times? For all the latest hot headlines Or maybe you love the Washington Post? For current events, yeah, it's the most Whatever paper you subscribe to Whatever paper that you turn to I'm covered in it now I'm covered in it now I'm covered in it now Do you listen to NPR? In the bathroom or in your car Or maybe you love WCBS? For current events, yeah, it's the best Whatever station that you tune to Whatever station that you turn to I'm covered in it now I'm covered in it now I'm covered in it now Now I am a really big deal What they say about me is real You need to know just what I'm doing What fresh hell that I am brewing Everything I do and say The cameras just won't go away I keep getting overexposed Till you shut your ears, eyes, mouth, and nose Do you like to turn on CNN? Saved as a favorite on your television Or maybe your dealer is Fox News? Their commentators give you all the clues Whatever channel you set your dial to Whatever channel that you nod and smile to I'm covered in it now I'm covered in it now I'm covered in it now x2
4.
When I turned 43 in 2020 So many troubles coming that I couldn’t foresee Global pandemic and civil unrest Plus a new type of doctor I won’t soon forget The periodontist The periodontist The very oh, scary oh, Periodontist Day after my birthday Dentist gave me the news I had to say goodbye To my right front tooth Had an infection in my jaw That needed to go Over a series of procedures That’s how I came know The periodontist The periodontist The very oh, scary oh, Periodontist Pray you never have to know Pray you never have to go To the perio, perio, periodontist! It’s hard to pretend That you’re still young When you need surgery On your jaws and gums If you live long enough to be Middle aged Don’t brush too hard And try to stay away from The periodontist The periodontist The very oh, scary oh, Periodontist Pray you never have to know Pray you never have to go To the perio, perio, periodontist!
5.
Better Days 02:48
I never lived through Such strange times You know I'm needing To turn the page Shred the calendar Wash out my eyes My soul needs healing Gonna burn some sage A new year’s here But I still feel fear I thought there'd be better days ahead The joke's on me it's just more of the same instead Stuck in a loop I can’t take anymore Every tomorrow is a rerun of the one before Is this forever or Just right now? Moments fly by While life stands still I dream of waking In a brave new world Hope it looks familiar I’m not sure it will A change has come But is it enough? I thought there'd be better days ahead The joke's on me it's just more of the same instead Stuck in a loop I can’t take anymore Every tomorrow is a rerun of the one before I wanna party Go to the movies Go see some bands With all my friends I thought there'd be better days ahead The joke's on me it's just more of the same instead Stuck in a loop I can’t take anymore Every tomorrow is a rerun of the one before
6.
The Internet is a series of tubes That every day Gets flooded with n00bs They go online To bare their souls And get devoured By hordes of trolls Deep In a deep sub-reddit You try and try But you can’t forget it Deep In a deep sub-reddit You can’t unsee No you can’t forget it You’ll find yourself In a dark dark place Where everyone has an opinion But no one has a face You will regret Everything you say You will want to leave But you will stay Deep In a deep sub-reddit You try and try But you can’t forget it Deep In a deep sub-reddit You can’t unsee No you can’t forget it It isn't all bad It isn't all bad It isn't all bad It isn't all bad Deep In a deep sub-reddit You try and try But you can’t forget it Deep In a deep sub-reddit You can’t unsee No you can’t forget it
7.
Once there was a day I really loved to dance I’d be on the floor Every time I had the chance Then there was a night I danced a little too hard I slipped right out the window And got hit by a car Now I’m a robot But I am a funky robot Now I’m a robot A funky robot Now I’m a robot But I am a funky robot Now I’m a robot A funky robot I woke up in a lab Laying on a slab Doctors all around I’m wondering what bad trip I’d had I opened my mouth to speak Out came a squeak I tried to ask these doctors “Man, what did you do to me”? Yeah Yes you’re a robot But you are a funky robot Yes you’re a robot A funky robot Yes you’re a robot But you are a funky robot Yes you’re a robot A funky robot I wandered through my town Till I couldn’t take no more And then I saw a disco That I’d never seen before, yeah Went into the club I couldn’t believe my eyes A hundred funky robots Man we danced right through the night, yeah Yes we are a robots But we are some funky robots Yes we are robots Some funky robots Yes we are a robots But we are some funky robots Yes we are robots Some funky robots Yes we are a robots But we are some funky robots Yes we are robots Some funky robots Yes we are a robots But we are some funky robots Yes we are robots Some funky robots
8.
Deified 03:36
Hey guys, It’s me, your special friend Thank you for tuning in again Today I’m gonna share with you A secret that you already knew You think we’re in a relationship But I don’t even know you exist I just need your steady engagement To be the fodder for my grift Got more followers than Jesus More sycophants than Putin I can do and say anything I want And I'm never ever gonna go back To being a nobody that no one's ever heard of Following the stupid rules that are meant for stupid people I’ve finally got my rightful place in the media pantheon And nothing can ever take that away, awaaaaaay, from me Hey guys, it’s me, your boy again Another message from your favorite conman My critics say I’m a narcissist But the truth is I’m a nihilist You think we’re in a relationship But I don’t even know that you exist I need you to like and subscribe You’re just the rungs on the ladder I climb Got more adherents than the Buddha More admirers than Obama I can be and have anything I want And I'm never ever gonna go back To being a nobody that no one's ever heard of Following the stupid rules that are meant for stupid people I’ve finally got my rightful place in the media pantheon And nothing can ever take that away, awaaaaaay, from me I know I deserve everything I have Cause I’m better than you Got more devotees than Mohammed More fan boys than Elon I can take or break anything I want And I'm never ever gonna go back To being a nobody that no one's ever heard of Following the stupid rules that are meant for stupid people I’ve finally got my rightful place in the media pantheon And nothing can ever take that away, awaaaaaay, from me
9.
Super bloody wolf moon Super bloody wolf moon Red eclipse at night Lychanthrope’s delight Super bloody wolf moon Riding on my motorcycle On the night of perigee Moon and sun and earth align To form a cursed zzygy Super bloody wolf moon Super bloody wolf moon Red eclipse at night Lychanthrope’s delight Super bloody wolf moon Phases of the lunar cycle There is no escape for me New Year brings another torment I’m losing my humanity As my mind fades I see your face Before you bit me and sealed my fate Super bloody wolf moon Super bloody wolf moon Red eclipse at night Lychanthrope’s delight Super bloody wolf moon Super bloody wolf moon Super bloody wolf moon Red eclipse at night Lychanthrope’s delight Super bloody wolf moon
10.
You won’t let it go You can’t let it go And you don’t even know why You’re stuck in the past You’re coming in last The problem lies behind your eyes Hiding in the shadows Feeding on your doubts A little baby monster Waiting to come out All of the pain In your brittle brain Hardened into stone Seeded a cloud Just hanging around You can’t leave it alone It’s become a part of you Feeling like a fraud Every time you stumble You hear it applaud You’re good enough, keep going No you’re not, just give up You’re smart enough, keep trying No you’re not, just give up You are loved, keep going No you’re not, just give up You can let it go You won’t let it go It’s all you’ve ever known You’re stuck in a trap You’re happy with that Living inside a burning home Trying leads to failure And failure leads to shame Who knows what you could do If you weren’t so afraid
11.
F@#$ Money! 01:56
Fuck money Money sucks Fuck money Money sucks Maybe someday Money won’t make me ragey But money’s not the problem Work is the problem Fuck work Workin' sucks Fuck work Workin' sucks Maybe someday Work won't make me ragey But work is not the problem People are the problem Fuck people People suck Fuck people People suck Maybe someday People won't make me ragey But people aren't the problem I am the problem Fuck me Me, I suck Fuck me Me, I suck Maybe someday I won't be so attached To my expectations They are the problem Uh huh!
12.
I'm experimenting With confidence No second guessing I got this This is not a finale I'm just getting started Stepping out of my own way Gonna see what I can do It can be never ending My insecurity But I refuse descending I got this This is not a finale I'm just getting started Stepping out of my own way Gonna see what I can do Crossing the finish line And I’m still gaining speed My limits redefined I got this This is not a finale I'm just getting started Stepping out of my own way Gonna see what I can do This is not a finale I'm just getting started Stepping out of my own way Gonna see what I can do

about

At 5 I started playing piano, at 15 I started playing guitar, at 25 I started writing songs and singing, and finally 20 years after that, I'm releasing my first solo rock'n'roll album! I've compiled a collection of a dozen rockers written for various songwriting communities and events (Song Fight, Nur Ein, Jamuary, Fun-A-Day, and more). Expect loud guitars, face melting solos, punchy bass, smashing drums, and a range of subject matter that mostly leans into the silly side, plus some curveballs thrown in for good measure.

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released March 3, 2023

Everything by Sam Douglass except where noted otherwise
Cover photo by Erin Douglass

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Sam Douglass Oregon

Hi. I make music. Some of it's not bad. You should listen to it! Maybe even buy some. Also check out Song Fight! www.songfight.org

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