1. |
Friday the 13th
02:41
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Oh it's almost summer time
I just cannot wait
For the campers to return
Man it's gonna be great
I'm sharpening my blade and I'm whittling my spear
Cause I'm gonna have a bloody good time this year
Oh I love to kill and I'm good at it
No I cannot die so get used to it
On Friday the 13th I'll come and find you
Just like my momma taught me to
I like to start off slow
With a teen who's all alone
With a cop or a hobo
Or a group one by one, oh
You say you're telekinetic then I say come and get it
Cause even if you beat me some fool will come and set me free
And I love to kill and I'm good at it
And I cannot die so get used to it
On Friday the 13th I'll come and find you
Just like my momma taught me to
I've got big dreams
Of big city screams
Slashing with grace
In the future and outer space!
And if you're fornicating then I'll be right there waiting
Cause I'm not just a monster from hell, I'm also a righteous incel
And I love to kill and I'm good at it
And I cannot die so get used to it
On Friday the 13th I'll come and find you
Just like my momma taught me to
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2. |
June Moon
03:25
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I gave up my reason
I gave up my rhyme
No more ways to say
Somethin’ ‘bout nothin’
The days grow long
But the nights get shorter
And I’m still not satisfied
Under the June moon
I do what I'm told
Don't break the rules or
I might get a "scolding"
I should just walk away
But I'm not smart enough
And I'm too proud to
Go down without a fight
I’m still in mourning
Still feeling lost
Look for a way to make
Somethin’ from nothin’
A year disappears
Now the weeks drag on
And I’m still not satisfied
Under the June moon
I do what I'm told
Don't break the rules or
I might get a "scolding"
I should just walk away
But I'm not smart enough
And I'm too proud to
Go down without a fight
I’m falling apart
I’m breaking down
Feel like I’m turning from
Somethin’ to nothin’
And I’m still not satisfied
Under the June moon
I do what I'm told
Don't break the rules or
I might get a "scolding"
I should just walk away
But I'm not smart enough
And I'm too proud to
Go down without a fight
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3. |
I'm Covered In It Now
03:02
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Do you read the New York Times?
For all the latest hot headlines
Or maybe you love the Washington Post?
For current events, yeah, it's the most
Whatever paper you subscribe to
Whatever paper that you turn to
I'm covered in it now
I'm covered in it now
I'm covered in it now
Do you listen to NPR?
In the bathroom or in your car
Or maybe you love WCBS?
For current events, yeah, it's the best
Whatever station that you tune to
Whatever station that you turn to
I'm covered in it now
I'm covered in it now
I'm covered in it now
Now I am a really big deal
What they say about me is real
You need to know just what I'm doing
What fresh hell that I am brewing
Everything I do and say
The cameras just won't go away
I keep getting overexposed
Till you shut your ears, eyes, mouth, and nose
Do you like to turn on CNN?
Saved as a favorite on your television
Or maybe your dealer is Fox News?
Their commentators give you all the clues
Whatever channel you set your dial to
Whatever channel that you nod and smile to
I'm covered in it now
I'm covered in it now
I'm covered in it now
x2
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4. |
The Periodontist
01:38
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When I turned 43 in 2020
So many troubles coming that I couldn’t foresee
Global pandemic and civil unrest
Plus a new type of doctor I won’t soon forget
The periodontist
The periodontist
The very oh, scary oh,
Periodontist
Day after my birthday
Dentist gave me the news
I had to say goodbye
To my right front tooth
Had an infection in my jaw
That needed to go
Over a series of procedures
That’s how I came know
The periodontist
The periodontist
The very oh, scary oh,
Periodontist
Pray you never have to know
Pray you never have to go
To the perio, perio, periodontist!
It’s hard to pretend
That you’re still young
When you need surgery
On your jaws and gums
If you live long enough to be
Middle aged
Don’t brush too hard
And try to stay away from
The periodontist
The periodontist
The very oh, scary oh,
Periodontist
Pray you never have to know
Pray you never have to go
To the perio, perio, periodontist!
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5. |
Better Days
02:48
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I never lived through
Such strange times
You know I'm needing
To turn the page
Shred the calendar
Wash out my eyes
My soul needs healing
Gonna burn some sage
A new year’s here
But I still feel fear
I thought there'd be
better days ahead
The joke's on me
it's just more of the same instead
Stuck in a loop
I can’t take anymore
Every tomorrow is a rerun of the one before
Is this forever or
Just right now?
Moments fly by
While life stands still
I dream of waking
In a brave new world
Hope it looks familiar
I’m not sure it will
A change has come
But is it enough?
I thought there'd be
better days ahead
The joke's on me
it's just more of the same instead
Stuck in a loop
I can’t take anymore
Every tomorrow is a rerun of the one before
I wanna party
Go to the movies
Go see some bands
With all my friends
I thought there'd be
better days ahead
The joke's on me
it's just more of the same instead
Stuck in a loop
I can’t take anymore
Every tomorrow is a rerun of the one before
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6. |
Deep Sub-Reddit
03:10
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The Internet
is a series of tubes
That every day
Gets flooded with n00bs
They go online
To bare their souls
And get devoured
By hordes of trolls
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You try and try
But you can’t forget it
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You can’t unsee
No you can’t forget it
You’ll find yourself
In a dark dark place
Where everyone has an opinion
But no one has a face
You will regret
Everything you say
You will want to leave
But you will stay
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You try and try
But you can’t forget it
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You can’t unsee
No you can’t forget it
It isn't all bad
It isn't all bad
It isn't all bad
It isn't all bad
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You try and try
But you can’t forget it
Deep
In a deep sub-reddit
You can’t unsee
No you can’t forget it
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7. |
Yes, You're A Robot
03:30
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Once there was a day
I really loved to dance
I’d be on the floor
Every time I had the chance
Then there was a night
I danced a little too hard
I slipped right out the window
And got hit by a car
Now I’m a robot
But I am a funky robot
Now I’m a robot
A funky robot
Now I’m a robot
But I am a funky robot
Now I’m a robot
A funky robot
I woke up in a lab
Laying on a slab
Doctors all around
I’m wondering what bad trip I’d had
I opened my mouth to speak
Out came a squeak
I tried to ask these doctors
“Man, what did you do to me”? Yeah
Yes you’re a robot
But you are a funky robot
Yes you’re a robot
A funky robot
Yes you’re a robot
But you are a funky robot
Yes you’re a robot
A funky robot
I wandered through my town
Till I couldn’t take no more
And then I saw a disco
That I’d never seen before, yeah
Went into the club
I couldn’t believe my eyes
A hundred funky robots
Man we danced right through the night, yeah
Yes we are a robots
But we are some funky robots
Yes we are robots
Some funky robots
Yes we are a robots
But we are some funky robots
Yes we are robots
Some funky robots
Yes we are a robots
But we are some funky robots
Yes we are robots
Some funky robots
Yes we are a robots
But we are some funky robots
Yes we are robots
Some funky robots
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8. |
Deified
03:36
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Hey guys, It’s me, your special friend
Thank you for tuning in again
Today I’m gonna share with you
A secret that you already knew
You think we’re in a relationship
But I don’t even know you exist
I just need your steady engagement
To be the fodder for my grift
Got more followers than Jesus
More sycophants than Putin
I can do and say anything I want
And I'm never ever gonna go back
To being a nobody that no one's ever heard of
Following the stupid rules that are meant for stupid people
I’ve finally got my rightful place in the media pantheon
And nothing can ever take that away, awaaaaaay, from me
Hey guys, it’s me, your boy again
Another message from your favorite conman
My critics say I’m a narcissist
But the truth is I’m a nihilist
You think we’re in a relationship
But I don’t even know that you exist
I need you to like and subscribe
You’re just the rungs on the ladder I climb
Got more adherents than the Buddha
More admirers than Obama
I can be and have anything I want
And I'm never ever gonna go back
To being a nobody that no one's ever heard of
Following the stupid rules that are meant for stupid people
I’ve finally got my rightful place in the media pantheon
And nothing can ever take that away, awaaaaaay, from me
I know I deserve everything I have
Cause I’m better than you
Got more devotees than Mohammed
More fan boys than Elon
I can take or break anything I want
And I'm never ever gonna go back
To being a nobody that no one's ever heard of
Following the stupid rules that are meant for stupid people
I’ve finally got my rightful place in the media pantheon
And nothing can ever take that away, awaaaaaay, from me
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9. |
Super Bloody Wolf Moon
01:46
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Super bloody wolf moon
Super bloody wolf moon
Red eclipse at night
Lychanthrope’s delight
Super bloody wolf moon
Riding on my motorcycle
On the night of perigee
Moon and sun and earth align
To form a cursed zzygy
Super bloody wolf moon
Super bloody wolf moon
Red eclipse at night
Lychanthrope’s delight
Super bloody wolf moon
Phases of the lunar cycle
There is no escape for me
New Year brings another torment
I’m losing my humanity
As my mind fades I see your face
Before you bit me and sealed my fate
Super bloody wolf moon
Super bloody wolf moon
Red eclipse at night
Lychanthrope’s delight
Super bloody wolf moon
Super bloody wolf moon
Super bloody wolf moon
Red eclipse at night
Lychanthrope’s delight
Super bloody wolf moon
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10. |
Can't Let It Go
02:48
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You won’t let it go
You can’t let it go
And you don’t even know why
You’re stuck in the past
You’re coming in last
The problem lies behind your eyes
Hiding in the shadows
Feeding on your doubts
A little baby monster
Waiting to come out
All of the pain
In your brittle brain
Hardened into stone
Seeded a cloud
Just hanging around
You can’t leave it alone
It’s become a part of you
Feeling like a fraud
Every time you stumble
You hear it applaud
You’re good enough, keep going
No you’re not, just give up
You’re smart enough, keep trying
No you’re not, just give up
You are loved, keep going
No you’re not, just give up
You can let it go
You won’t let it go
It’s all you’ve ever known
You’re stuck in a trap
You’re happy with that
Living inside a burning home
Trying leads to failure
And failure leads to shame
Who knows what you could do
If you weren’t so afraid
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11. |
F@#$ Money!
01:56
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Fuck money
Money sucks
Fuck money
Money sucks
Maybe someday
Money won’t make me ragey
But money’s not the problem
Work is the problem
Fuck work
Workin' sucks
Fuck work
Workin' sucks
Maybe someday
Work won't make me ragey
But work is not the problem
People are the problem
Fuck people
People suck
Fuck people
People suck
Maybe someday
People won't make me ragey
But people aren't the problem
I am the problem
Fuck me
Me, I suck
Fuck me
Me, I suck
Maybe someday
I won't be so attached
To my expectations
They are the problem
Uh huh!
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12. |
This Is Not A Finale
02:29
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I'm experimenting
With confidence
No second guessing
I got this
This is not a finale
I'm just getting started
Stepping out of my own way
Gonna see what I can do
It can be never ending
My insecurity
But I refuse descending
I got this
This is not a finale
I'm just getting started
Stepping out of my own way
Gonna see what I can do
Crossing the finish line
And I’m still gaining speed
My limits redefined
I got this
This is not a finale
I'm just getting started
Stepping out of my own way
Gonna see what I can do
This is not a finale
I'm just getting started
Stepping out of my own way
Gonna see what I can do
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Sam Douglass Oregon
Hi. I make music. Some of it's not bad. You should listen to it! Maybe even buy some. Also check out Song Fight! www.songfight.org
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